Gary Mervis: Founder of Camp Good Days

“The Character of a Man is Measured by How He Treats Those Who Can do Nothing for Him”

By: Ben DeGeorge

First Published: Sunday, July 22, 2007

Gary Mervis is well known throughout Western New York, mainly through his work with Camp Good Days, which provides programs and services to improve the quality of life for children and families whose lives have been touched by cancer and other life challenges. Their flagship program is a camp run out of Branchport, New York on Keuka Lake (about a mile and a half away from my family’s vacation home).

Teddi Mervis, Gary’s youngest child of three, was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor in 1979. Gary found that the worst part of the battle was the ensuing loneliness that a victim experiences. He started Camp Good Days and Special Times to try and deal with this problem, and that year ran a camp for his Teddi and 62 other children. Since then, the program has grown and continues to do a massive amount of good in the world.

Besides his Camp Good Days work, Gary has spent twenty years involved in state politics, is a St. John Fisher Football Coach, is involved in Project Exile, Boy Scouts and many other community organizations.

These are excerpts from a recent conversation that I had with Gary in the Camp Good Days’ Office in Mendon, New York. His story is incredibly inspirational. This is a way to thank him for the time spent with him and the candid conversation we had. It is also for his dedication to helping people and for going out of his to help those who can do nothing for him.

For more information on Camp Good Days and Special Times, check out this website: http://www.campgooddays.org/

 One of the campers

Ben: How do you define success?

Gary Mervis: I define success as doing something that you enjoy. Chances are if you enjoy it, you’re going to do it well. That will empower you inside, to be the best that you can be. When you can feel good about getting up and pursuing what you’re doing, that’s success – when you can’t wait to start your day. I saw my dad at the end of his career, hating to go to work. His sense of work ethic would not allow him not to go to work. This is one area in my life I feel truly blessed, whether it be my work in sports or in government or in taking an idea and watching it become what Camp Good Days and Special Times is today.

Ben: Where do you see yourself in five or ten years?

GM: Still doing what I’m doing. As I get older I would like to get in a nice rocking chair and go out to the camp and sit on the dock as a proud Grandpa, watching the interaction between our volunteers, staff and campers. Whether I’ll be able to do that I’m not sure, I don’t know if I’ll ever retire.

Ben: How did you get into politics?

GM: By accident. I had come back for my master’s degree and went to work teaching a course to GED student’s who wanted to go to college but were not ready for college work. I was teaching a communications skills course and asked my students to do projects; send a letter to the editor, testify in a public hearing, and the third in my naiveté was to work in a political campaign. I didn’t really realize what was involved.

I had one young man who wanted to become involved in a County Court Judge race. I went over to the Republican headquarters and became involved by osmosis.

I was offered an opportunity to be the Assistant Campaign Chairman, and to go to work in the Republican headquarters. I worked with him in the County and State headquarters. I had the opportunity to work with the last Republican Speaker of the House. I went to work for various capacities on the State Assembly.

I worked on a committee for election reform, on the sports and tourism committee, a task force for crime victims, and pediatric hospice – a lot of things over 20 some odd years. It was a fun time.

Gary’s office with an amazingly large amount of amazing gifts

I always had a fascination with it. I remember going home as a young boy and watching President Kennedy’s press conferences. I was 16 when he was elected, and I enjoyed it as much as a sporting event.

During my undergraduate days I worked for the city of Rochester playgrounds fulltime, went to school full time and got married.

 

Probably the only picture of Richard Nixon eating a Pizza

Ben: What are some inspirational quotes’s in your life?

GM: “Don’t pray when it rains if you don’t pray when the sun shines,” by Satchel Paige. It’s just as important to realize and thank God for the good every day.

A Blessing from the pope to Camp Good Days

Ben: Why were you so successful in the non profit world? Was it because of business skills?

GM: A lot of people are now coming from business to run non-profits. You need those skills. Traditionally, people have come from sociology and psychology backgrounds. Sometimes their weakness is not having the business experience or background. If someone has that they can be very valuable.

Ben: What’s your favorite candy bar?

GM: I don’t normally eat candy. But, if I had a choice, I would rather eat black licorice, real licorice from Australia. But I usually eat healthy; I like all kinds of fruits and nuts.

Ben: What are some hobbies?

GM: I kind of look at what I do as a hobby, I am busy 7 days a week. It’s like I’m working two full time jobs. When I was working for the legislature it was like working three full time jobs. Also, coaching football you have practice every day and games every Saturday. When working with the legislature, everyone is up for election every 2 years, so you are always working on that. I don’t have any time for traditional hobbies. But I do like photography, I like to listen to country music, and I like to listen to books on tape. I’ll get a good book on tape so when I’m driving I can put the CDs in and listen.

Ben: What is your favorite book?

GM: Sports books and people who have been successful. Lou Holtz is one of the best motivational speakers I’ve ever heard. I try to read inspirational stuff like Lance Armstrong’s books. Also, Lee Iacocca’s got a new book out that I have. I read a book that he wrote many years ago when he helped save Chrysler.

Ben: You can learn a lot from those.

GM: You realize that when your world is falling apart, people have gone through a lot worse. Often when you’ll see a successful entertainer or businessperson you think, wow it must have been easy for them, because we only hear about them when they have been successful. But, reading their memoirs you really realize these people pay their dues. They have to overcome the same challenges that anyone has to deal with. The fact that they overcame them creates an opportunity where now you can overcome your challenges.

Ben: Tell me about some of the things you have had to overcome.

GM: Obviously having to overcome a child who died of cancer is something a parent is never prepared for. You just don’t expect back in 1979 that your child will be diagnosed with cancer. I was an educated person, with a good job, and always thought cancer was something that challenged us as we got older. I was so busy with a career that took me out of town. And, I always had it in my mind that my daughter would go to college and get married. Never in my wildest imagination would I be sitting in the University of Rochester medical facility waiting for my nine year old daughter to come out of brain surgery, and me having to ask the doctor, “Is Teddi going to be alive at Christmas.”

I decided I wanted to get to know Teddi better. In those instances, when a child is diagnosed with something like this, the Mom usually puts her career on hold. I wanted it to be me though, because I wanted to know my child. It quickly became evident that I was never prepared for this. It’s the kind of thing where you want to pick her up, kiss her, and make the boo–boo’s go away.

Back then, cancer was something that was often not talked about. Families did talk about it. At that time it was probably the most feared word in the English language.

So here is this little girl who was a Vince Lombardi cheerleader, and when she died was blind because the therapy cut off her optic nerves. In 48 hours she went totally blind and lost 70% of her hearing and was confined to a wheelchair. As a dad I was watching this happen. The ultimate thing going against nature is having a parent bury their child.

She died in February of 1982, and my dad died in August. I lost the youngest and oldest people in my family. If you wanted to see a guy who was at the bottom emotionally, it was me. Somehow the good Lord gave me this camp and it became my focal point. Teddi and I dreamed about it, and it became a reality.

This is our 28^th summer, and I have been able to keep two promises. I didn’t want Camp Good Days to be a bureaucracy, like most not for profit organizations. I wanted to be an organization that did things, and made a real difference. I had experience in the second biggest bureaucracy in the world, State Government. By the time I can get a haircut, my barber and I can solve all of the State’s problems, but when I drive to Albany, I can’t do anything. I wanted it to be about the kids and making a difference.

Secondly, I wanted to make this camp free. There’s no magic button on the gas pump that you can push to make things cheaper because someone in the family has cancer. Every program that we provide is free of charge. I take a lot of pride in this.

 

Ben: How much does it cost to operate Camp Good Days?

GM: We have an annual budget of $3 million. We are a 501c3 corporation. People make donations to us, and can claim a portion off their taxes. Most comes from individual donations, but we raise 25% or so from civic or professional groups. We do a lot of special events – that helps. A lot of people may get sick of hearing Camp Good Days is doing this or that, but, I don’t think they realize that all the services we provide are free of charge, and the only way we can do this is through the generosity of individuals and our fundraisers.

Ben: How did you end up choosing Branchport for the site of Camp Good Days?

GM: Actually by accident. When we first started in 1979, we started operating out of the Adirondacks. We had to make a few major decisions. The first year the doctors were very selective with the children we worked with. They were mostly older children in remission. We made a decision to make the camp into something where any child can attend. The medical staff became a little nervous, and we needed to be closer to a Cancer Treatment center – the best was in Syracuse. Most of our help was from the University of Rochester. We decided to find a place that was close to both. We had many temporary camps.

One of the facilities we were using was a dorm at Keuka College. One of my friends was renting a cottage near the camp, which was a series of small cottages called, Pebble Beach. I checked out the lakefront looking at the bluff and it was just beautiful. I started negotiating with the owner and three days before Christmas in 1986 we purchased the property. We spent two summers developing the camp. It’s been truly a Godsend. We have made some improvements to it. In ‘96 we started a program for women with cancer, and one in ‘97 for men, because there are so many more adults with cancer than children. We can do these throughout the year. When the children are in school we can offer programs.

Ben: How many hours of sleep do you get every night?

GM: I try to get 6, but I don’t always do that.

Ben: What’s your favorite time of day?

GM: Early morning – I love it. My dad had a 6^th or 7^th grade education but a tremendous amount of wisdom. He always said, “The early bird gets the worm.” I like to get up, feed our three dogs, get the paper, make coffee, then go and work out for 35 or 40 minutes.

Gary’s Dogs

Ben: What’s your workout routine like?

GM: Usually I use a treadmill, rebounder or stationary bike. While I’m doing it I’ll watch the news shows – CNN usually. I’ll then have some cereal and coffee and my wife gets up. I shower, get dressed, and get going. A lot of times I’ll have breakfast meetings or whatever. Usually I get to bed by 12:30, but sometimes that doesn’t always happen. I got into the habit when I was going to school. My wife hated cooking for herself, so I would come home and have a late dinner, which is when I started putting on weight. She would go to bed, and I would do work and get up for classes at 8:00.

I have a tough time when I don’t have anything to do. The toughest thing is when I’m on vacation. I kind of feel guilty. I have to be doing something, and using my time. When I’m driving I’m listening to a book on tape.

Ben: You’re a St. John Fisher College Football Coach. I’m sure you have some inspirational sports figures that motivate you?

 

Gary in the prayer huddle

GM: Satchel Paige and a lot of those players who played in the black leagues and late in their career got to play in the major leagues. To think what they could have done if they had been able to compete in their prime.

Today I have a tough time picking favorites. I think the money has taken kids out of it. They don’t play World Series games in the afternoon. I remember coming home as a kid and watching them on TV. Now you can’t stay up late enough. It’s so much money for a family of four to go to a professional sporting event now. But many sports figures have helped out with Camp Good Days – some of the old Washington Redskins and lots of Buffalo Bills players. Those guys used to not make close to as much money as people make now. You can’t get autographs anymore because people sell those for money on eBay. It’s kind of sad, because that was one of the best things about it.

Ben: What kind of car do you drive?

GM: That’s probably my one vice. I love cars. My favorite is my 2000 Ford Lightning f150. It’s as impractical as anything. I also have a 2005 Mustang Convertible, a 1996 Mustang Cobra, a PT cruiser with a turbo engine and a Nissan Murano. I have fun driving back and forth to camp in the summer. It’s my time to think. But, you have to keep your eyes open for deer.

 

Gary and his wife

Ben: What are some of your favorite movies?

GM: I love Meatballs with Bill Murray. I was telling my wife that when I started camp in 1979, that I didn’t have a lot of camping experience. When that movie first came out I used a lot of stuff from it. I must have watched it five times. I got a lot of ideas from it for camp like, “The hand goes up, the mouth goes shut.” We had a young man, Frank Towner, who dressed up as a clown and rode his Harley to greet campers. We also got the CIT program from the movie. Recently, watching it again I really enjoyed it. I had our staff in training watch it and told them not to get ideas from it, but realize where we got some of our stuff.

 

Ben: I saw you used to be on the Otetiana Council Boy Scout Board?

GM: I used to be the Director of the Special Scouting. I wanted to find a vehicle to bring kids together. A friend of mine told me about the Special Scouting program. I set up a meeting with the director, and he told me we could have this as an Explorer program. We started our Explorer Post and needed a coordinator, which I did for three years and enjoyed it.

Ben: I’m an eagle scout. Have you ever had any Boy Scout groups come in and help?

GM: We’ve had a lot of eagle scouts come in and do projects. Occasionally we have a group of Boy Scouts come to camp.

Ben: I think something interesting for the Boy Scouts to do would be to have campers from Camp Barton on Seneca Lake, who are there for a week every summer, partner with Camp Good Days. We could have Scouts come down and do activities with the kids. In Boy Scouts, I was never exposed to something along these lines with the community service work. There could also be a merit badge involved somewhere

GM: I’d be happy to look into this.

Ben: Do you have any unheralded talents? Maybe you can burp the ABC’s, or juggle flaming knives?

GM: My best talent is my ability to work with people. Also, I can be self disciplined, focused, and acceptable to diversity. I think the good Lord gave me lots of good lessons. I am the huddle coach for St. John Fisher Football and try to tell the kids that this adventure will be filled with peaks and valleys, but the thing you have to hope for is as many good days as bad days. Also, it’s all about relationships.

Ben: looking at the other side of life, what are some things that irk you?

GM: The way that sometimes people look to making money. Sometimes it’s kids on the football team who want to graduate as soon as possible to be an accountant so they can buy a nice car or nice clothes. I tell them those are all nice things to have, but you need something else to motivate you to work, because you’re going to do this for a long time. Don’t do something just for the money, but because you enjoy it, and do it well.

Some of the richest people out there like H. Wayne Huizenga, started with a garbage truck because he heard his folks complain that the people picking up garbage were leaving garbage around. This became Waste Management, Blockbuster Video and ownership of the Dolphins. There are a lot of ways to be successful, but do it through something you’re passionate about.

When I was starting to work in Albany, Ben and Jerry’s just came out. One time we noticed one of their stores was opening up and we stopped by. Either Ben or Jerry was there talking to my boss. He said their philosophy was that whoever was the president of the company could only make five or six times what the lowest full time employee was making. Recently, I read in Fortune magazine, that by noon of the first workday, the average fortune 500 CEO would have made more than 60% of what their employees make. It’s gotten way out of hand, how much is enough? Some of these people are nothing more than pigs.

A happy camper and Gary

You can arguably say that the President of the United States is the most powerful person in the world, and we value his job at $400,000 a year. The average McDonalds owner makes more than $400,000 a year. The reality is that it just doesn’t make any sense. How do you justify paying someone who plays third base for the Yankee’s $25 or $30 million a year, when you’re paying a school teacher $30,000 a year. We like to say all the right things based upon our Judeo – Christian values, but then don’t do them.

We say our children are our most important asset, and yet, we won’t spend the money on getting the best teachers, or after school activities. I think every kid who graduates high school with a C average or better should have an opportunity to go to college, even if you come from a drug addicted parent or whatever. It’s so they can realize that dream of getting an education is realistic.

Campers on a trip to Boston

Not everybody is meant to get an education like that, so we need to have trade schools to train some people to be employees; so that people who are running business know they have qualified applicants. I think we owe that to our young people. Also we must take care of our elderly. We find that those are unfortunate to not have the help of their families go into nursery homes. We then pay those people that work in nursery homes minimal wages.

My biggest peeve is that we have a disease that will kill 560,000 Americans this year. These people don’t live in vacuums; they are someone’s husband, sister or wife. I know that in the next 14 months, more Americans are going to die of cancer than died in all military conflicts in the 20^th century. And, I know that every day it’s like one of the twin towers is falling. With all of these people who want to be President of the United States, and all these talking heads on talk shows, you never hear people talk about cancer. That pisses me off. The biggest thing to combat cancer is a behavioral thing, eliminating smoking.

A hallway at Camp Good Days Headquarters

That’s truly sad, that we don’t even talk about it. I would love for us to bring all of the best minds together, give them the money we are spending during one month in Iraq and see once and for all if we can find some of these answers. I don’t know if it’s that people don’t want to find answers. There could be someone out at Stanford with the answers to these questions, but we don’t know it because people are competing with each other. What better gift we could give to the world than this. I’m tired of seeing parents having to bury their children. I’m tired of parents having to leave their children behind. Why don’t we treat it as a war, and spend the time and resources we need? We are fighting this stupid war in Iraq, but not this.

The second area that pisses me off is the proliferation of guns that we have in our community and on the streets. I’ve been doing a lot of work with Project Exile to go after people with guns. You plus an illegal gun equal time in a federal prison. This made a lot of people nervous, because they were being exiled from the community. We saw the number of guns come off the street, the number of homicides drop, but then the criminals got smart and realized that in order to go to prison they needed to be tried on a federal level. They got smart and had kids carry guns. The kids didn’t have any idea, so we saw a lot of kids killing kids, causing a great deal of devastation to the community.

Gary’s Presidential pens

Today it’s gotten to a point where if we see on the news or pick up a paper, and someone has gotten shot or killed, we don’t even care anymore. We have gotten hardened and accepted this. It’s very wrong. This can only be solved when we as people come together and say enough is enough. I just don’t understand why we can’t come together and deal with this.

You opened up a Pandora’s Box when you asked this. But, we need to make cancer into a national issue, and we need to make it so people value human life more.

Ben: What do you consider some of your weaknesses?

GM: Sometimes I eat too much when I’m not hungry. That’s one problem I’ve always promised myself I would try to fix. Also, not taking the time to put myself in other people’s shoes instead of being in too much of a hurry, and not understanding why someone else does not feel the same way as I do. I learned a long time ago that you have to put yourself in people’s shoes to understand what’s going on.

Ben: Well, it’s a strength that you know those things. I’ve only had one person ever say “I don’t have any weaknesses” and he will remain nameless.

 

GM: I always look back on my dad, and remember him saying, “Gary, be a giver not a taker.” He did not do anything really great. He didn’t even know how to drive. He loved to listen to his music, read his books and smoke cigars. But, he had this ability to share things with me that all these years later I keep with me. The biggest thing he gave me was my work ethic. He also said, “I don’t care how big your office is, I just care how much you get done there.”

 

More campers

When I was in Albany it was like IBM in its heyday. Everyone had their blue pin striped suit, wing tipped shoes, white shirts with cufflinks, and a nice tie. That was the culture – the uniform you needed. It got to a point where people are more interested with how you look than what kind of person you are. I remember driving home and thinking people will judge me not by how I look, but by what I do. I’ve tried to not wear a suit since. I’ll admit – I have been forced into it several times.

Ben: You’ve worn a “Jacket and Slacks,” not a suit. My dad has the same feeling about dressing up. Gary, you remind me a lot of him, and that’s a compliment because I look up to him very much so.

 

GM: He should be proud of you. This is an interesting endeavor and I’m excited to see what you come up with.

Ben: Is there anything else you would like to impart upon me or our readers?

GM: Yes, there is one thing I want you to take away from this interview. The idea that “The character of a man is measured by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.” This is an idea that guides my actions and I take with me wherever I go.

Gary Mervis

Founder

Camp Good Days and Special Times